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 Well, this is it.
Depending on your perspective, this is either the last “No Cheering in the Press Box” you have the pleasure of reading, the last “No Cheering in the Press Box” you are subjected to, or the last “No Cheering in the Press Box” your friend tells you is so offensive that you must read.
Before I get into what this column is about, I want to give some shout outs to people I stupidly left out of my goodbye commentary.
I want to say thank you to my family. There is no chance I would be where I am today without their support.
To my Mom and Dad: I don’t even know where to start. You have meant everything to me. I know you were skeptical when I left Hampden-Sydney, but thanks for supporting me once I got to Appalachian.
Thanks for helping me fall in love with sports so I could be in this position. I love you guys.
To my sisters Merritt, Rebecca and Meredith: thanks for so many things, but most of all thanks for letting me live with you in Raleigh while I was taking a semester off. And Meredith, you have been a wonderful addition to this family. I love you guys too.
To my brother Tommy: thanks for introducing me to the guitar. Thanks for being as crazy of a Deacon fan as I am. And thanks for being like a second dad sometimes. I love you, man.
Anyway, on with the rest of the column.
This is the 22nd and final “No Cheering in the Press Box” of this year.
I have certainly caused my fair share of controversy with this column.
Before I address my many detractors, I would like to say thanks to fans of the column (if any actually exist). I’m glad I could entertain you with my silly little column all year.
To my detractors and critics: thanks for your support too. Since I doubt there are many people who would call themselves fans of mine, you haters are responsible for most of the hits I have received this year. So, thanks!
Now, I want to readdress some of the issues I have discussed this year.
First off, The Citadel is not a real military academy. The only official U.S. Military Academies are West Point, Annapolis, the Merchant Marine Academy, the Coast Guard Academy and the Air Force Academy.
The Citadel is just a remnant of a bygone era.
I want to give a special shout out to the guy who sent an e-mail to every SoCon Sports Information Director asking them to revoke my credentials in wake of The Citadel column uproar. That didn’t work out too well for you, did it buddy?
I got a good deal of flak for the column I wrote about New Mexico women’s soccer player and ponytail-yanking aficionado Elizabeth Lambert. Elizabeth, my offer to get married still stands.
I wrote two columns this year about Tim Tebow. Just so I can clarify, yes, I do hate Tebow – mostly because he is a sanctimonious, hyper-religious nutjob. I hope he fails catastrophically in the NFL and ends up with a drug problem.
I managed to tick off the majority of the sports fans in the student body when I called them out for their poor support of the men’s and women’s basketball teams. Yes, I still think ASU has horrible fans. To the students who attended the men’s game against Pacific, thanks for giving me the sarcastic standing ovation when I walked onto press row. That was sweet.
Finally, I think a lot of people agreed with the columns I wrote about Buzz Peterson. But if you disagreed with my use of language, well, go screw yourself.
In closing, I would like to quote the second best men’s basketball coach of all time: Bobby Knight.
“When my time on Earth is gone, and my activities here are past, I want them to bury me upside down, so my critics can kiss my a--.”
Column: ROB JENKINS, Sports Editor
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