Velveeta, the king of mac and cheese


Braxton Coats

Velveeta, the king of mac and cheese. With its superior, aerodynamic shell design, Velveeta is the best option to go to when you’re craving a cheesy snack. Velveeta has, without a doubt, the best formula to quench your cheesy thirst. When adding the cheese into the mix, Velveeta has the decency to give its customers a “real” cheese to add into their mixture.Velveeta doesn’t cop out with a cheap powder or worse, a pre-mixed batch that you just add water to. They want their customers to feel cared for and have a mac and cheese that makes them feel nurtured.

Velveeta shows its expertise in the mac and cheese business when you get done preparing it. Pouring the cheesy mixture into a bowl and listening to the jaw dropping plops of cheese is one of the best parts of the experience. The expertly designed shells allow you to shovel as much of the cheesy goodness into your mouth as possible.

When you compare Velveeta to the competition, nobody even comes close. Kraft, a mac and cheese that could blind a man from 30 yards away, doesn’t compare to the sleek gooeyness of Velveeta. Stouffer’s, a boxed abomination of a product, has nothing on the freshness of Velveeta. Annie’s, mac and cheese that is grown in the ground, doesn’t have a stem to stand on when it comes to the overall flavor package that Velveeta contains.

Quite simply, Velveeta is the mac and cheese of champions, scholars and America’s youth. With a résumé like that, everybody else is just cheesin’ around.

Braxton Coats is a junior computer science major from Raleigh, North Carolina.