Thanksgiving is meant to be a joyous time when families can come together to enjoy quality time with one another. Although the food might be delicious, a lot of times the dinner conversations can make someone lose their appetite. In order to dine and not cause a full out war among the family, there are a few key rules to follow:

#1 Forget politics

Now, regardless of if someone is right or left leaning, politics are not a good discussion topic. For those who believe that they would be alright because they are independent and would not have a strong urge to argue, stop lying to yourself. Everyone has an opinion and, nine times out of 10, that opinion will shine through in a heated debate. No need to bring up a political conversation that can and will become an issue with that one racist relative. A war at the dinner table does not need to exist while there is a perfectly cooked turkey waiting to be eaten. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, but sometimes those opinions are difficult to get out of the mouth respectfully, so do everyone a favor and steer clear from the conversation.

#2 Stop the degrading comments

This is not to have everyone going around complimenting every family member; instead it is to make sure people hold their tongue. A person’s body, job or life is not open for criticism or degrading comments. The passive aggressive statements and excessive nice talk around a touchy subject is unacceptable and unwarranted. Thanksgiving is meant for people to be grateful for what they have, not for making others long over the things they want. There are so many things in life that could be talked about, other than everything wrong with a particular person. It is also important to note that if the person can not fix it within the next five minutes, then it does not need to be addressed. This one rule can keep anyone from leaving Thanksgiving unhappy and reevaluating which family they married into or were born into. 

#3 Don’t be an instigator

The past two rules are relatively easy to follow as long as no one instigates those types of conversations. If you know that your aunt is getting a divorce for a third time, but no one else knows, do not bring up how happy everyone’s marriages are. It might be funny for the time being, but when someone threatens to never return to Thanksgiving dinner next year or to never talk to someone else, it might be time to reevaluate your decisions. Think ahead to how each family member will respond to a certain topic and if the reaction will be bad, avoid it. It is difficult to predict what others will do around the table and there could be another instigator in your midst, but keep your snide comments to yourself. If your cousin just moved in with their partner and your parents are talking about how unsmart that is, do not continue to bring up your cousin as an example. Allow your parents to get their thoughts out and move on. Do not keep that conversation going for longer than it needs to.