Weddings are a time of celebration and unity for the couple and their families. There are formal rules that must be followed in Western weddings, including the division of genders in the wedding party, the bride’s family paying for the entire wedding and throwing the bouquet and garter to the crowd. Some of these rules are overrated and outdated, thankfully many couples are deciding to break away from these traditional rules for their wedding and doing what they want to do.

The average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $30,119, with food and drinks being the most expensive part at $8,176. The second most expensive part of the wedding is the venue itself, averaging around $5,761. Instead of renting out expensive venues, couples can choose to get married at a courthouse, which costs on average $120 and use the leftover money to put towards the honeymoon or any other needs. 

Another very costly part of the wedding is the wedding dress, costing on average $1,800 to $2,500. However, for a customized dress, it can cost up to $10,000. Wedding dresses should not be mandatory for weddings and the individuals should be able to choose what they want to wear, especially if they do not want to fork out thousands of dollars on something they will wear once.

For the wedding reception there was a long time rule that there had to be division of genders in the wedding party. The couple should have whoever they want in their wedding party regardless of their gender. A bridesman and a best woman should be normalized in weddings, as should mixed gender wedding parties. Many couples are now having mixed gender wedding parties, foregoing the outdated tradition. Rightfully so, as they are now able to be inclusive in their wedding party and not leave a loved one out because of their gender. 

Second, the bride’s parents pay for the entire wedding. It is the couple’s day of celebration, not just the bride’s, so why should her parents pay for all of it? Both families should be responsible for paying for the wedding, especially in regards to the catering and venue, the most expensive aspects of a wedding. Now it is more common for the couple to split the entire cost of the wedding, not leaving the bride’s family paying for it.

Third, throwing the bouquet and garter to the crowd. These acts are supposed to bestow luck upon the guests of the reception; however, the reason is outdated. In history, single women were desperate to catch the bouquet because they saw that marriage was the only way to get out of poverty for their family. Now, it is seen as just a fun act to do at a wedding. Throwing the garter should be done away with. The groom goes under the bride’s dress and takes off her garter either with his hands or teeth and throws it into the crowd of single men. They make a show out of this act that sexualizes the bride, which can be uncomfortable for onlookers and the bride herself. There should be other methods instead of throwing the garter to give good luck to the single males of the wedding reception, such as throwing a football or a stuffed animal with money attached to it. 

Another niche rule of weddings that should be done away with is the couple not being able to ask for cash gifts. This makes no sense because if the couple is already moved in together, they most likely have household appliances that are normally given as wedding gifts. They can use the cash gift towards their honeymoon or vacations.

Another expectation is that there has to be a wedding cake, the price of which is around $500. Why can there not be other desserts like cupcakes or cookies? And why can the couple not make their own cake? It obviously would not be as high quality as a professionally-made cake, but it will save the couple hundreds of dollars and allow them to have a memorable experience together before their wedding.

The rules of traditional weddings are not conducive to the 21st century and should be changed to fit with the times. Many couples are now changing the norm and doing what they want for their wedding. However, this change took too long to happen.

The couple should be able to choose what they want to do at their own wedding and not feel pressured to follow the outdated wedding rule book. Doing what the couple actually wants to do in their own wedding can create their own unique wedding experience and hopefully save them thousands of dollars to be used for other things.